Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Check, Please.

All right, so you're probably wondering who my other runner up from the last blog was. Well, someone asked me a question that I figured works well. Let me grab it from the Movie Tavern Mug.

"Can you write an IKEA sex scene for your next blog?"

Wait, what? What the Hell? MUG! That's not the right question! Sorry about that folks. I don't even know how that one got in there...

Here we go. "If you had unlimited resources for planning your last meal, what would be involved?" Better get a handkerchief. This could get depressing.

The idea of a last meal is not something I've thought about a lot. Due to an accident of genetics, it's less likely that I'll have a nice stretch of time to get a last meal before I go. It is FAR more likely that eventually this plays out:

"Why did J.K. collapse like that? Call an ambulance! NOW!"

But let's just say that I had a stretch of time where I knew I was going to die, and I had the time and resources to get a last meal. In fact, let's just make it a last request night. Scuse me, David Tennant, but I'm gonna need to borrow that TARDIS for a bit. Not like you're using it at the moment.

Okay, first up, as many of my friends could tell you, I'm not normally one for classy dress. My fine motor skills aren't that great, so I have trouble with cuff links and ties. Well, for this one, for once, I'm dressing nice. And I'm not talking about the pirate shirt and vest, either. Probably go for one of my red collared shirts, a tie, a pair of dark slacks, and that black top coat that I never have with me when I need it. And of course, a shave and some effort into making my hair look at least presentable, instead of letting it do its own sentient thing.

Once I'm presentable for once in my life, time to pick up...well, you know who you bloody well are. We'd sit down at the table for a meal that should look fairly familiar (but hopefully even better this time around). The main course would be chicken and rice chimichangas with queso blanco. These would be topped with pork chili verde. For sides, there would be refried beans and rice, and probably a plate of nachos in the middle for us to split, or at least some chips and queso. To drink, I know it's a weird mix to go with this meal, but gin and tonics for each of us. I feel like there should be some sort of music playing this time around, but I'm not entirely sure. Warren Zevon's The Wind album seems appropriate, but on the other hand, it might be just a touch on the morbid side. Eh, maybe they'd pick out something to bring for us to listen to.

After dinner, we'd go to watch a movie with our desserts: a plate of fudge and cookies, and some key lime pie martinis. The movie would probably be Head or The Room. After the movie, I'd have the good manners to send them home with a kiss on the forehead before I decided to kick off.

Honestly, I'm not sure what the experience of the evening would be, whether it would be a tearful and sullen occasion, or if we'd just try to avoid the big elephant in the room (they'd have found out that something was wrong by then, whether or not I'd decided to tell them that this was going to be my last meal). But I know that's who I'd want to spend my last meal with. The food, I guess, would be secondary to the company.

Well, that was a bit of a downer. I'll try to pick something a bit more lighthearted next time. In the meantime, this is J. K. Lantern, signing off.

1 comment:

  1. "or if we'd just try to avoid the big elephant in the room"

    That IS one heck of a meal!

    To make it easier to evade, I'd suggest carving it into smaller portions. A carcass on the floor just seems...tacky.